Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I'm looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I've been tired since 2010. Anonymous

Short Quotes

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won't kill it, I'd buy another house. Anonymous

Money Quotes

Dear Stomach, you're bored, not hungry. So shut up. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

If you like water then you already like 70% of me. Anonymous

Short Quotes

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to run in and grab a 36-pack of toilet paper as soon as the store opens. This message will auto-flush in 5 seconds. Anonymous

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

If only my teeth were as white as my legs. Anonymous

Short Quotes

That moment when you finish watching a T.V series and you don't know what to do with your life any more. Anonymous

Life Quotes Moments

Don't rush me, I'm still deciding whether I'll be productive or not today! Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

When things get hot, they expand, so I'm just getting warmer, not gaining weight. Anonymous

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday. Anonymous

Short Quotes

I'm so lazy that I get jealous when it's bedtime in other countries. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

The awkward moment when someone's zipper is down and you don't know whether to tell them or not. Anonymous

Moments

When someone asks "Are you crazy?" Just answer "Yes" to end that conversation. Anonymous

Short Quotes

Did you know "DIET" stands for "Did I Eat That?" Anonymous

Eat Quotes Questions Short Quotes

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