Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Interviewer: What do you make at your current job? Me: Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments. Anonymous

Work Quotes

Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my word. Anonymous

Short Quotes

I am going to make a very beautiful life for myself, no matter what it takes. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes

When someone asks "Are you crazy?" Just answer "Yes" to end that conversation. Anonymous

Short Quotes

I hate math... but I love counting money. Anonymous

Math Quotes Money Quotes Short Quotes

Covid Health tip: If you hold a can of beer in both hands, you can't touch your face. Anonymous

Beer Quotes Drinking

I'm looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I've been tired since 2010. Anonymous

Short Quotes

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won't kill it, I'd buy another house. Anonymous

Money Quotes

Dear Stomach, you're bored, not hungry. So shut up. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

If you like water then you already like 70% of me. Anonymous

Short Quotes

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to run in and grab a 36-pack of toilet paper as soon as the store opens. This message will auto-flush in 5 seconds. Anonymous

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

The awkward moment when someone's zipper is down and you don't know whether to tell them or not. Anonymous

Moments

That moment when you finish watching a T.V series and you don't know what to do with your life any more. Anonymous

Anonymous Funny Quotes

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