Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it. Anonymous
I'm so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Good morning self-isolation inmates! Anyone know how much vodka goes in scrambled eggs? - Anonymous
Good morning self-isolation inmates! Anyone know how much vodka goes in scrambled eggs? Anonymous
Eat Quotes Good Quotes
I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time. - Anonymous
I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can't eat anything when I'm asleep! Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Sleep Quotes
How was the word "Wife" invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife. - Anonymous
How was the word "Wife" invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife. Anonymous
Questions Wife Quotes
Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same! Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport. Anonymous
Short Quotes
I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It's dead yarn now though. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Kids: How come the closet is completely full of toilet paper? Me: We're getting 3 cats, we have to pad all the walls in the house. Anonymous
Animals Cat Quotes
Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist. Anonymous
Happy Quotes Short Quotes
All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy. Anonymous
Cat Quotes Dog Quotes
If people were meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters. - Anonymous
If people were meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters. Anonymous
Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster so now we have to sit here until the store closes. Anonymous
Today I told my daughter she's giving me a headache! She told me "For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer." Anonymous

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