Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It's dead yarn now though. Anonymous

Life Quotes

Kids: How come the closet is completely full of toilet paper? Me: We're getting 3 cats, we have to pad all the walls in the house. Anonymous

Animals Cat Quotes

That awkward moment when it's quiet in class and your stomach decides to sound make whale mating sounds. Anonymous

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy. Anonymous

Cat Quotes Dog Quotes

Today I told my daughter she's giving me a headache! She told me "For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer." Anonymous

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive. Anonymous

Short Quotes

We're all brave in our own way. For example, I'm not afraid of raw cookie dough. Anonymous

Eat Quotes

Happiness is a long walk, with a dog. Anonymous

Animals Dog Quotes Happy Quotes

A new kitten will turn your house upside down and at the same time make everything seem right. Anonymous

Animals Cat Quotes

When I say "Good night," I'm just sending you off to bed, I'm not going to sleep! Anonymous

Sleep Quotes

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

True love isn't about what's on the outside, it's about what's on the inside.... the wallet. Anonymous

Love Quotes Money Quotes

When I finish eating something I have to show my hands to the dog, like I'm a blackjack dealer... Anonymous

Animals

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says "Smell this," it usually smells nice. Anonymous

Life Quotes Man Quotes

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place. Anonymous

Anonymous Funny Quotes

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