Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

When I finish eating something I have to show my hands to the dog, like I'm a blackjack dealer... Anonymous

Animals

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I'm hungry again. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says "Smell this," it usually smells nice. Anonymous

Life Quotes Man Quotes

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When I take a shower I'm: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions. Anonymous

Life Quotes

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn't taste as good as you expected. Anonymous

Eat Quotes

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn't leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn't loan them out to strangers. Anonymous

Computers

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there's the ring, and then you wake up. Anonymous

Marriage Quotes

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It's called being hungry. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

From now I'm going on a strict diet.... Oh look, burger and fries! Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

Apparently when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended! Anonymous

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can't fall asleep. Anonymous

Sleep Quotes

'I'll call you right back.' Translation: Enjoy the rest of your day. Anonymous

Phone Short Quotes

Oh Mickey you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, hey Mickey. Hey, Hey Mickey! Face it, you didn't read that, you sang it. Anonymous

If zombies ever attack, just go to Costco. They have strong walls, years of food supplies, and Zombies can't get in because they don't have a membership card. Anonymous

Life always has it's ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy. Anonymous

Anonymous Funny Quotes

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