Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

If zombies ever attack, just go to Costco. They have strong walls, years of food supplies, and Zombies can't get in because they don't have a membership card. Anonymous

Life always has it's ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy. Anonymous

Life Quotes

Happiness is a long walk, with a dog. Anonymous

Animals Dog Quotes Happy Quotes

A new kitten will turn your house upside down and at the same time make everything seem right. Anonymous

Animals Cat Quotes

Apparently when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended! Anonymous

'I'll call you right back.' Translation: Enjoy the rest of your day. Anonymous

Phone Short Quotes

You know you're mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs. Anonymous

It's always fun listening to someone's lie when you already know the truth. Anonymous

Short Quotes

I lost my car chapstick and now my purse chapstick is in my room, and my room chapstick is in my car, and my whole life is just messed up. Anonymous

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I'll let you do my job. Anonymous

Work Quotes

If you were wondering about my culinary skills... I've been asked to bring paper towels to our family gatherings. Anonymous

Eat Quotes

That awkward moment when it's quiet in class and your stomach decides to sound make whale mating sounds. Anonymous

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn't leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn't loan them out to strangers. Anonymous

Computers

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive? Anonymous

Short Quotes

I'm a leader not a follower. Unless it's a dark place, then you're going first. Anonymous

Anonymous Funny Quotes

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