Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

'I'll call you right back.' Translation: Enjoy the rest of your day. Anonymous
Phone Short Quotes
Oh Mickey you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, hey Mickey. Hey, Hey Mickey! Face it, you didn't read that, you sang it. Anonymous
When I finish eating something I have to show my hands to the dog, like I'm a blackjack dealer... Anonymous
Animals
If zombies ever attack, just go to Costco. They have strong walls, years of food supplies, and Zombies can't get in because they don't have a membership card. Anonymous
Life always has it's ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy. Anonymous
Life Quotes
We're all brave in our own way. For example, I'm not afraid of raw cookie dough. Anonymous
Eat Quotes
Today I decided to do some manly work. I sat down on the couch and I'm watching TV. It's hard but it's necessary. Anonymous
Man Quotes Work Quotes
If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive? Anonymous
Short Quotes
Apparently when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended! Anonymous
Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds. Anonymous
Work Quotes
You know you're mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs. Anonymous
It's always fun listening to someone's lie when you already know the truth. Anonymous
Short Quotes
I lost my car chapstick and now my purse chapstick is in my room, and my room chapstick is in my car, and my whole life is just messed up. Anonymous
Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I'll let you do my job. Anonymous
Work Quotes
If you were wondering about my culinary skills... I've been asked to bring paper towels to our family gatherings. Anonymous
Eat Quotes

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