Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning. Anonymous

Phone

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn't leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn't loan them out to strangers. Anonymous

Computers

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there's the ring, and then you wake up. Anonymous

Marriage Quotes

I changed my alarm clock sound with an applause, it's the least I deserve for waking up at 7am. Anonymous

Work Quotes

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me. Anonymous

I'm a leader not a follower. Unless it's a dark place, then you're going first. Anonymous

Short Quotes

I'm trying to be awesome today, but I'm too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday. Anonymous

Witty Quotes

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like "just kidding." Anonymous

Moments Sleep Quotes

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it's a shame they'll never meet. Anonymous

Math Quotes Short Quotes

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on T.V. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes TV Quotes

When I get to work, I always hide first... because a good worker is always hard to find. Anonymous

Work Quotes

Chocolate is the best investment, you buy a 7oz bar and you gain 2lbs. Anonymous

Short Quotes

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes

My kid asked me why a corn field is not full of popcorn after a lightning strike. I don't know either. Anonymous

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I'm not overweight, I'm on the wrong planet. Anonymous

Anonymous Funny Quotes

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