Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Newspaper Ad: Parachute for sale, used once, never opened!! - Anonymous
Newspaper Ad: Parachute for sale, used once, never opened!! Anonymous
Never Quotes Short Quotes
My new year's resolution was to quit all my bad habits, but then it occurred to me - nobody likes a quitter. - Anonymous
My new year's resolution was to quit all my bad habits, but then it occurred to me - nobody likes a quitter. Anonymous
I was gonna take over the world today but I overslept. Postponed, again! - Anonymous
I was gonna take over the world today but I overslept. Postponed, again! Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. - Anonymous
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. Anonymous
Analogies Sleep Quotes Top 100
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect. - Anonymous
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect. Anonymous
Short Quotes
I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money. - Anonymous
I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes
I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does. - Anonymous
I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does. Anonymous
Know Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it. - Anonymous
Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
Have some patience, I'm screwing things up as fast as possible.
Have some patience, I'm screwing things up as fast as possible. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
I would like to apologize to anyone whom I haven't offended yet. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly. - Anonymous
I would like to apologize to anyone whom I haven't offended yet. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes Top 100
I don't like morning people... or mornings, or people.
I don't like morning people... or mornings, or people. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
In grammar class the teacher asks her student 'When you sing you say 'I sing' what do you say when your brother is singing? I say 'shut up you're a terrible singer'.
In grammar class the teacher asks her student: When you sing you say 'I sing' what do you say when your brother is singing? I say 'shut up you're a terrible singer'. Anonymous
Top 100
You don't have to be crazy to hang out with me... I'll train you. - Anonymous
You don't have to be crazy to hang out with me... I'll train you. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
Me: We need to fall asleep. Brain: No, let's stay awake and think about every decision we made today. - Anonymous
Me: We need to fall asleep. Brain: No, let's stay awake and think about every decision we made today. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sleep Quotes Think Quotes
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it. - Anonymous
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

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