Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

What keys can't open locks? Monkeys, donkeys and turkeys. - Anonymous
What keys can't open locks? Monkeys, donkeys and turkeys. Anonymous
Animals Questions Short Quotes
Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. - Anonymous
Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. Anonymous
Money Quotes Stupid Quotes
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect. - Anonymous
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Maybe there are no excuses to be lazy, but I'm still going to keep looking. - Anonymous
Maybe there are no excuses to be lazy, but I'm still going to keep looking. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes
If you know something will go wrong and you do everything to stop it from happening, then something else will go wrong. - Anonymous
If you know something will go wrong and you do everything to stop it from happening, then something else will go wrong. Anonymous
Sayings
If people were meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters. - Anonymous
If people were meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters. Anonymous
Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
What did the traffic light say to the other traffic light? Don't look, I'm changing. - Anonymous
What did the traffic light say to the other traffic light? Don't look, I'm changing. Anonymous
Questions
When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes
A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first. - Anonymous
A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first. Anonymous
People Quotes Stupid Quotes Time Quotes
What's your best non-swearing insult? I hope you step on a Lego. - Anonymous
What's your best non-swearing insult? I hope you step on a Lego. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it. - Anonymous
Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it. Anonymous
Never Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
I'm so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed. - Anonymous
I'm so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed. Anonymous
Good Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee. - Anonymous
Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
Why must I prove that I am me when I pay bills over the phone? Did some else call to pay my bills, and if they did, why don't you let them? - Anonymous
Why must I prove that I am me when I pay bills over the phone? Did some else call to pay my bills, and if they did, why don't you let them? Anonymous
Life Quotes Money Quotes Phone
When nothing is going right, go left. - Anonymous
When nothing is going right, go left. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100

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