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The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
Mark Twain
After a lot of research, scientists have concluded that the most vitamins are found in the pharmacy.
Anonymous
What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hold on a minute!
Anonymous
Of all my body parts my eyes get the most exercise, I do at least a thousand eye rolls every day.
Anonymous
I'm not sure how long my body can handle this "getting out of bed early in the morning" nonsense.
Anonymous
There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.
Anonymous
Research has shown that laughing for two minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minute jog. So now I'm sitting in the park laughing at all the joggers.
Anonymous