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What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hold on a minute!
Anonymous
Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast as I could!
Anonymous
If I don't log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must've kidnapped me!
Anonymous
I wish that all of my enemies had three cars parked in front of their house. An ambulance, fire truck and police car.
Anonymous
I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting... It's like, woah, I'm not the same person I was last night.
Anonymous