Funny Animal Quotes

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For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog.
For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog. Anonymous
Dog Quotes Short Quotes
Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around.
Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around. Anonymous
Cat Quotes Computers Questions
What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.' - Anonymous
What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.' Anonymous
Phone Stupid Quotes Time Quotes
Two mice are eating a movie film roll at a cinema when one says to the other: this movie is good, but the book was better!
Two mice are eating a movie film roll at a cinema when one says to the other: this movie is good, but the book was better! Anonymous
Eat Quotes Good Quotes
Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote! - Anonymous
Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote! Anonymous
TV Quotes Top 100 Witty Quotes
When I finish eating something I have to show my hands to the dog, like I'm a blackjack dealer... Anonymous
What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump. - Anonymous
What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump. Anonymous
Questions Top 100
You can trust your dog to guard your house.
You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich. Anonymous
Dog Quotes Eat Quotes Never Quotes
My windows aren't dirty, my dog is painting. - Anonymous
My windows aren't dirty, my dog is painting. Anonymous
Dog Quotes Short Quotes
To a dog, a fire hydrant under maintenance is like a bathroom that's out of service.
To a dog, a fire hydrant under maintenance is like a bathroom that's out of service. Anonymous
Dog Quotes
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

A. Whitney Brown

Top 100
A horse is dangerous at both ends, and uncomfortable in the middle.
A horse is dangerous at both ends, and uncomfortable in the middle. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Bought a talking parrot today and taught him to say Help, I've been turned into a parrot.
Bought a talking parrot today and taught him to say "Help, I've been turned into a parrot." Anonymous
The only thing you have to fear is fear itself... and spiders.
The only thing you have to fear is fear itself... and spiders. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!
You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared! Anonymous
Love Quotes Top 100
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