Work Quotes

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Funny quotes about work, your boss, colleagues. Funny quotes about Mondays and Fridays at work!

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? - Edgar Bergen
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Edgar Bergen

Never Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.
He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.

Paddy O'Dea

Lazy Quotes Sleep Quotes
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

Simpsons

Lazy Quotes Life Quotes Top 100
When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!! - Anonymous
When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!! Anonymous
Time Quotes
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. Groucho Marx
Money Quotes
If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.' Dave Barry
Never Quotes
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. Steven Alexander Wright
Stupid Quotes
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter. - John Gotti
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.

John Gotti

Stupid Quotes Think Quotes Top 100
Near year 2013, resolutions you can keep.
New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school.
Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.
 Anonymous
Eat Quotes Exercise Quotes Stupid Quotes
Actual meanings of various terms.
Actual meanings of various terms:
TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on.
HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems.
IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry.
INFLATION: Paying today's prices with last year's salary.
 Anonymous
Money Quotes Stupid Quotes
I don't work on weekends, or any other day that ends with "Y".
I don't work on weekends, or any other day that ends with "Y". Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
If A is success in life, then A is equal to X plus Y plus Z. Work is X; Y is play; and Z - keeping your mouth shut. - Albert Einstein
If A is success in life, then A is equal to X plus Y plus Z. Work is X; Y is play; and Z - keeping your mouth shut. Albert Einstein
Famous Quotes Life Quotes
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

Fred Allen

Life Quotes People Quotes
The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.
The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. Anonymous
Short Quotes TV Quotes
If it's the fifth day in a row that you don't feel like working, it means it's finally Friday! - Anonymous
If it's the fifth day in a row that you don't feel like working, it means it's finally Friday! Anonymous
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