Latest Funny Quotes

If I'm constantly bothering you, it means you're an important person. Anonymous

Short Quotes

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth. Anonymous

Now that I'm quarantined, I finally realize that my only true hobbies were shopping and eating out. Anonymous

Eat Quotes

If your New Years Resolution was to eat out less, you're killing it. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

When the teacher said "Don't forget to bring clothes for Gym," I thought "Who is Jim and why doesn't he bring his own clothes?" Anonymous

Exercise Quotes

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse... except for money. Anonymous

Money Quotes Short Quotes

The only exercise I've done this month is running... out of money! Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Money Quotes Short Quotes

They say money doesn't solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine. Anonymous

Money Quotes

That moment you're thankful for Coronavirus social distancing rules because you just ate some garlic. Anonymous

Eat Quotes

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water. Anonymous

I end all my sentences with "Just saying.." because ending them with "You bonehead.." would probably be considered offensive. Anonymous

People Quotes

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I'm done with work. Anonymous

Short Quotes Time Quotes Work Quotes

I survived the great toilet paper scare of 2020. Anonymous

Short Quotes

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Bill McGlashen

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