Latest Funny Quotes

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year's? Now we're old and cursing because we're staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed. Anonymous

Sleep Quotes

New year resolution: Complete the resolutions I set in 2019, that were actually from 2018, passed down from 2017, originally from 2016, actually set in 2015, that all began in 2014 but truly started in 2013. Anonymous

My new year resolutions: 1. Stop procrastinating so much. 2. I'll post the rest tomorrow or whenever. Anonymous

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other. Anonymous

Short Quotes

I don't have a new year resolution - you don't need that when you're perfect. Anonymous

Short Quotes

Happy New Year! Here's to another year of binge eating, Facebook surfing, and Netflix marathons. Anonymous

Facebook

My new year's resolution was to quit all my bad habits, but then it occurred to me - nobody likes a quitter. Anonymous

What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where is the pop corn? Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes

Do you ever feel like your body's "check engine" light is on but you're like "nah, I'll be fine"? Anonymous

I'm tired of adding 'LOL' to the end of my texts for sensitive people. I said what I said, deal with it. Anonymous

Going in a teen's room is like going to Ikea. You pop in to take a look and come out with 4 bowls, 6 cups, a set of plates, and some cutlery. Anonymous

Each year in the USA, 16 people are attacked by sharks and 6000 by goats . We don't need shark week, we need goat week. Anonymous

TV Quotes

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life. Anonymous

Eat Quotes

I can't finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find. Anonymous

Whoever said "Out of sight, out of mind" never had a spider disappear in their bedroom. Anonymous

Sayings

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