Latest Funny Quotes

People say "go big or go home" like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah I want to go home, and I'll have a nap when I get there. Anonymous

Sayings Sleep Quotes

Now if you'll excuse me... today's bad decisions aren't going to make themselves. Anonymous

Sayings

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams. Anonymous

Short Quotes Work Quotes

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out. Anonymous

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping. Anonymous

Short Quotes

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days. Anonymous

Short Quotes

Instead of LOL why don't you try LOLWKASF: Laughing Out Loud While Keeping A Straight Face. Anonymous

Stupid Quotes Witty Quotes

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

If you think nobody cares that you're alive try missing a couple of payments. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck. Anonymous

Work Quotes

It's hard to find a friend who is 95% talented, 96% funny, 98% loving, 99% intelligent and 100% sweet. So don't you dare lose me! Anonymous

Friend Quotes

I wonder what people do with all the time they save by writing "K" instead of "OK." Anonymous

Questions

Whenever I have a headache I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle. Anonymous

Life Quotes

Be kind to people, and if that's too much to ask for then just be weird to people. It's the least you can do. Anonymous

Life Quotes People Quotes

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