Latest Funny Quotes

Dear auto-correct, that's not what I was trying to say. I'm getting tired of your shirt. Anonymous

Witty Quotes

Sit down and let me tell you a story. Once upon a time I was hungry, and that's what happened to all your chocolate. Anonymous

Eat Quotes

When someone asks where you see yourself in 5 years... Buddy, I'm just trying to make it to Friday. Anonymous

Work Quotes

Never let anyone treat you like regular glue. You're glitter glue. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

Lead me not into temptation... Oh who am I kidding, follow me, I know a shortcut. Anonymous

Sayings

It's all fun and games until your jeans don't fit any more. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

Lazy Rule: Can't reach it, don't need it. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

Finally it's Friday and I can go out. I'm putting the garbage out and I'll be right back. Anonymous

Stupid Quotes Work Quotes

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you. Anonymous

Animals Cat Quotes Short Quotes

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead. Anonymous

Sleep Quotes

Why do you wear glasses? My eyes are so beautiful they have to be kept behind glass, like a showcase. Anonymous

Questions

If I had just one hour left to live, I'd spend it in Math class... it never ends. Anonymous

Life Quotes Math Quotes

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can't find them. Anonymous

Short Quotes

I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone. Anonymous

Phone Sayings Top 100

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