Latest Funny Quotes

You're never too old to do goofy stuff. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

Would you believe my neighbor was knocking on my door at 2:30AM this morning? Luckily, I was still up playing bagpipes. Anonymous

Stupid Quotes

Don't invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed. Anonymous

Sayings

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and I find is ingredients. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there's a small hole in the bag somewhere. Anonymous

Sayings

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I'm still at work. Anonymous

Work Quotes

I haven't even gone to bed yet and I already can't wait to get home from work tomorrow. Anonymous

Work Quotes

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck. Anonymous

Short Quotes

If I say "First of all," run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong. Anonymous

Sayings

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels. Anonymous

Friend Quotes

That awkward moment when you've said "What?" three times, so you just say "Oh, yeah.." even though you have no idea what they said. Anonymous

Moments

I'm not being smart, I'm just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious. Anonymous

Witty Quotes

Me sarcastic? Never. Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting... It's like, woah, I'm not the same person I was last night. Anonymous

Sayings

Friends are like rainbows, always there to cheer you up after a storm. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

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