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Parenthood, the scariest hood to go through. Anonymous

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Interviewer: So tell me about yourself. Me: I'd rather not.. I kinda want this job. Anonymous

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Of course I'm in shape. Round is a shape. Anonymous

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I was gonna take over the world today but I overslept. Postponed, again! Anonymous

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I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows. Anonymous

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If every day is a gift, then today I got socks. Anonymous

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I didn't mean to gain weight, it just happened by snackcident. Anonymous

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Life status: Currently holding it all together with one bobby pin. Anonymous

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Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on a beach drinking margaritas. Anonymous

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My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch... I call it lunch. Anonymous

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Don't mess with me, I know Karate, Judo, Jujitsu, Kung Fu and 20 other dangerous words. Anonymous

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My hobbies include eating and complaining that I've gained too much weight. Anonymous

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I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved. Anonymous

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Life's biggest struggle: I need to pee, but I don't want to get out of bed. Anonymous

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An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough. Anonymous

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