Latest Funny Quotes

Kids, I don't know if our ceiling is the best ceiling... but it's definitely up there. Anonymous

Know Quotes Stupid Quotes

If you can't remember my name, just say "Chocolate" and I'll turn around. Anonymous

People Quotes Short Quotes

If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter. Anonymous

Sayings Wise Quotes

Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. Anonymous

Beer Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

If you let out a loud fart and someone hears you, just yell "Jet Power" and start running. Anonymous

Sayings Top 100

Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Wise Quotes

Just because I can't sing doesn't mean that I won't sing. Anonymous

Short Quotes Statements Stupid Quotes

I eat cake because it's someone's birthday somewhere today. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal. Anonymous

Short Quotes Statements

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes

There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired. Today I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of continuing. Anonymous

People Quotes Think Quotes Time Quotes

"Revenge" sounds so mean, that's why I prefer to call it "Returning the favor." Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Top 100

Ironing boards are surf boards that quit before achieving their dream. Don't be an ironing board. Anonymous

Life Quotes

If we ever travel far in the universe to another planet with intelligent life, let's just make patterns in their crops and leave. Anonymous

Life Quotes Sayings Stupid Quotes

I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at the floor, and think "I'd tap that." Anonymous

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