Latest Funny Quotes

Every morning I do 10 sit-ups, to hit the snooze button on my alarm clock. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

Math: the only place where you have to figure out the ratio of yellow candy to blue candy when all you're thinking about is eating them. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Math Quotes Sayings

I love you so much I'd fight a bear for you. Well not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu... But a care bear, I'd definitely fight a care bear for you. Anonymous

Animals Know Quotes Love Quotes

You never know what you have, until you clean your closet. Anonymous

Know Quotes Lazy Quotes Never Quotes

I might wake up early and do some exercise, or I might win the lotto, the odds are the same. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes

My diet for today: 1% food, 99% Halloween candy. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

The only thing you have to fear is fear itself... and spiders. Anonymous

Animals Sayings Short Quotes

Alcohol doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean... against tables, chairs and walls. Anonymous

Drinking Sayings

Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong. Anonymous

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

I have a new hair style today, it's called "I tried." Anonymous

Life Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself. Anonymous

People Quotes Sayings

Do you ever go out, and then something happens and you think to yourself 'this is exactly why I don't go out'? Anonymous

Questions Think Quotes Top 100

Have some patience, I'm screwing things up as fast as possible. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we're having cake. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

I made a huge to do list for today. I just can't figure out who's going to do it. Anonymous

Sayings

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