Latest Funny Quotes

Home / Latest Funny Quotes Page 83

Latest quotes in the order they were added.

Life is the dash between the birth date and the passed away date. - Anonymous
Life is the dash between the birth date and the passed away date. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
According to Archimedes' principle, what happens when you jump in a bathtub full of water? Answer: The phone rings.
According to Archimedes' principle, what happens when you jump in a bathtub full of water? Answer: The phone rings. Anonymous
Phone
When is yelling during a robbery a bad idea? When you have gold teeth. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
The best advise I have for all my teachers during a test is to pass the test out as fast as possible before I forget everything. Anonymous
Top 100 Wise Quotes
When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner.
When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner. Anonymous
Love Quotes Marriage Quotes Top 100
I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect. George Burns
Sayings
Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, 'Send one of my bags to New York, one to Los Angeles, and one to Miami.' She said, 'We can't do that!' I told her, 'You did it last week!'
Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, 'Send one of my bags to New York, one to Los Angeles, and one to Miami.' She said, 'We can't do that!' I told her, 'You did it last week!' Henny Youngman
Moments
You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.

Rita Rudner

Know Quotes Questions Think Quotes
A bikini is like a barbed wire fence. It protects the property without obstructing the view.
A bikini is like a barbed wire fence. It protects the property without obstructing the view. Joey Adams
Analogies
When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad. - Helen Rowland
When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad.

Helen Rowland

Marriage Quotes
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' - Anonymous
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' Anonymous
Funny Tree Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits. - Anonymous
Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits. Anonymous
Sayings Stupid Quotes
Working in a team means spending half your time convincing the others that your idea is better than theirs. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Working in a team means spending half your time convincing the others that your idea is better than theirs. Anonymous
Work Quotes
After a lot of research, scientists have concluded that the most vitamins are found in the pharmacy. - Anonymous
After a lot of research, scientists have concluded that the most vitamins are found in the pharmacy. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes
I think I've discovered the secret of life, you just hang around until you get used to it. Charles M. Schulz
Life Quotes Think Quotes

Funny Quote Topics

Recommended Sites

Pure Love Quotes Impressive Facts Best Positive Quotes

Search our Site