Latest Funny Quotes

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. Woody Allen

Questions

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. Erma Bombeck

Never Quotes Short Quotes Wise Quotes

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman? Woody Allen

Life Quotes

He who laughs last didn't get it.

Helen Giangregorio

Sayings Short Quotes Top 100

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Edgar Bergen

Never Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

The road to success is always under construction. Lily Tomlin

Sayings Short Quotes Top 100

It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird. Anonymous

Short Quotes

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Douglas Adams

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. Anonymous

Man Quotes Marriage Quotes Think Quotes

Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer. Anonymous

Beer Quotes Drinking Lazy Quotes

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.

Paul Fix

Analogies World Quotes

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. Steven Alexander Wright

Statements

Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! Anonymous

Analogies Love Quotes Phone

Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. Anonymous

Animals Sayings Short Quotes

All generalizations are false, including this one. Mark Twain

Short Quotes Wise Quotes

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