Top 100 Funny Quotes

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The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs...
The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist. Anonymous
Drinking Man Quotes Sayings
How was the dog's day? Ruff. - Anonymous
How was the dog's day? Ruff. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Short Quotes
Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?' - Anonymous
Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?' Anonymous
Dog Quotes Stupid Quotes
He who laughs last didn't get it. - Helen Giangregorio
He who laughs last didn't get it.

Helen Giangregorio

Sayings Short Quotes
If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all. - David Letterman
If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.

David Letterman

Sayings Stupid Quotes Wise Quotes
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. Mark Twain
Drinking Eat Quotes Famous Quotes
The best advise I have for all my teachers during a test is to pass the test out as fast as possible before I forget everything. Anonymous
Wise Quotes
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Robert Bloch

Man Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten. - Anonymous
I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten. Anonymous
Life Quotes Time Quotes
Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it. - Anonymous
Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it. Anonymous
Never Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.
The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself. - Groucho Marx
Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself. Groucho Marx
Life Quotes
I only have one wish in life... For all my dreams to come true. - Anonymous
I only have one wish in life... For all my dreams to come true. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
I'm not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing. - Anonymous
I'm not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
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