Top 100 Funny Quotes

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I don't work on weekends, or any other day that ends with "Y".
I don't work on weekends, or any other day that ends with "Y". Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
The most important four words for a successful marriage: 'I'll do the dishes.'
The most important four words for a successful marriage: 'I'll do the dishes.' Anonymous
Marriage Quotes Short Quotes
Did you ever notice, whenever you need your keys the most, that's when they're the hardest to find?
Did you ever notice, whenever you need your keys the most, that's when they're the hardest to find? Anonymous
Questions
I'd like to live like a poor man - only with lots of money.
I'd like to live like a poor man - only with lots of money.

Pablo Picasso

Famous Quotes Man Quotes Money Quotes
Think you're smart? Come over and help me with my homework.
Think you're smart? Come over and help me with my homework. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
All of us light up a room, some when they enter, others when they leave.
All of us light up a room, some when they enter, others when they leave. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.

Jacques Deval

Animals Funny Tree Quotes Man Quotes
Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. Now read it again without the animals. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. Now read it again without the animals. Anonymous
Animals Witty Quotes
Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns
Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. George Burns
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Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands. - Anonymous
Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.' - Anonymous
What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.' Anonymous
Animals Phone Stupid Quotes
What are the two magic words that you can always use to make a shark happy? "Man Overboard!" - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
What are the two magic words that you can always use to make a shark happy? "Man Overboard!" Anonymous
Animals
Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale's mating call. - Anonymous
Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale's mating call. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
Everyone wants your happiness. Don't let them take it!! - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Everyone wants your happiness. Don't let them take it!! Anonymous
Happy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
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