Funny Statements
There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza.
Anonymous
All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza.
Anonymous
Dear LOL, thank you for being there for me all those times I never had something else to say.
Anonymous
I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close enough.
Anonymous
Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time.
Anonymous
I hate it when people text "Call me." I'm going to start calling people and as soon as they answer I'll say "text me," then hang up.
Anonymous
Displayed 31-45 of 48 quotes.
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