Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I want to sleep but my brain won't stop talking to itself. Anonymous
Short Quotes Sleep Quotes Think Quotes
My body has absorbed so much soap, sanitizer and disinfectant, that now when I pee it cleans the toilet. - Anonymous
My body has absorbed so much soap, sanitizer and disinfectant, that now when I pee it cleans the toilet. Anonymous
Could you please be as silent as the G in lasagna?
Could you please be as silent as the G in lasagna? Anonymous
People Quotes Questions Short Quotes
Why must I prove that I am me when I pay bills over the phone? Did some else call to pay my bills, and if they did, why don't you let them? - Anonymous
Why must I prove that I am me when I pay bills over the phone? Did some else call to pay my bills, and if they did, why don't you let them? Anonymous
Life Quotes Money Quotes Phone
Me: "I need help around here!" Then me again "No, not like that, here I'll do it." - Anonymous
Me: "I need help around here!" Then me again "No, not like that, here I'll do it." Anonymous
Know Quotes
Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.
Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up. Anonymous
Sayings Sleep Quotes Top 100
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure! - Anonymous
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure! Anonymous
Know Quotes Never Quotes Time Quotes
Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo. - Anonymous
Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo. Anonymous
Facebook Love Quotes People Quotes
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. - Anonymous
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. Anonymous
Know Quotes Sayings Statements
Yes of course I am athletic... I surf the Internet every day. - Anonymous
Yes of course I am athletic... I surf the Internet every day. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Internet Lazy Quotes
In spring birds return from their tropical vacation. Six months later they regret their decision and go back. - Anonymous
In spring birds return from their tropical vacation. Six months later they regret their decision and go back. Anonymous
Animals
I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do. - Anonymous
I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Think Quotes
Work again? Really? Didn't I just do that yesterday? - Anonymous
Work again? Really? Didn't I just do that yesterday? Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
I'm retired. I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today. - Anonymous
I'm retired. I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing! - Anonymous
Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing! Anonymous
Love Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

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