Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I want to sleep but my brain won't stop talking to itself. Anonymous
Short Quotes Sleep Quotes Think Quotes
Don't vacuum and listen to loud music on your headphones in the same time. I finished three rooms until I realized the vacuum wasn't even on. - Anonymous
Don't vacuum and listen to loud music on your headphones in the same time. I finished three rooms until I realized the vacuum wasn't even on. Anonymous
Wise Quotes
I didn't mean to push all your buttons, I was just looking for the mute button. - Anonymous
I didn't mean to push all your buttons, I was just looking for the mute button. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
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I don't know how to act my age because I've never been this old before. - Anonymous
I don't know how to act my age because I've never been this old before. Anonymous
Know Quotes Never Quotes People Quotes
Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it. - Anonymous
Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes Statements
Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts. Others walk into our lives and we want to leave footprints on their face! - Anonymous
Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts. Others walk into our lives and we want to leave footprints on their face! Anonymous
Love Quotes Marriage Quotes People Quotes
If lying was a job some people would be billionaires. - Anonymous
If lying was a job some people would be billionaires. Anonymous
Money Quotes People Quotes Sayings
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. - Anonymous
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. Anonymous
Know Quotes Sayings Statements
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again. - Anonymous
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again. Anonymous
Know Quotes Love Quotes Short Quotes
My boss asked me where I see myself in 5 years. I told him if his hair keeps falling out, I'll see myself in his bald spot. - Anonymous
My boss asked me where I see myself in 5 years. I told him if his hair keeps falling out, I'll see myself in his bald spot. Anonymous
Work Quotes
My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station. - Anonymous
My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station. Anonymous
Marriage Quotes Top 100 Wife Quotes
I've learned so much from my mistakes, I'm thinking of making a few more. - Anonymous
I've learned so much from my mistakes, I'm thinking of making a few more. Anonymous
Short Quotes
I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap. - Anonymous
I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sleep Quotes Top 100
Stop! You're under arrest for being too sexy. Your sentence is an eternity inside my heart. - Anonymous
Stop! You're under arrest for being too sexy. Your sentence is an eternity inside my heart. Anonymous
Love Quotes Marriage Quotes
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. - Anonymous
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. Anonymous
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