Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge Anonymous
Analogies Short Quotes
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again. - Anonymous
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again. Anonymous
Know Quotes Love Quotes Short Quotes
Beer together
Let's have a beer together, you can open it and I will drink it. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking Moments
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Be happy, it drives people crazy. - Anonymous
Be happy, it drives people crazy. Anonymous
Happy Quotes People Quotes Short Quotes
It's hard to find a friend who is 95% talented, 96% funny, 98% loving, 99% intelligent and 100% sweet. So don't you dare lose me! Anonymous
Friend Quotes
I've always wanted to turn around in an executive chair and say "I've been expecting you." - Anonymous
I've always wanted to turn around in an executive chair and say "I've been expecting you." Anonymous
Statements Work Quotes
Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It's like the other vegetables aren't even trying. Anonymous
I don't jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss. - Anonymous
I don't jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
I'm staying up past midnight this New Year's eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over. Anonymous
Intelligence is chasing me, but I'm beating it so far. - Anonymous
Intelligence is chasing me, but I'm beating it so far. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the M is silent. - Anonymous
Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the M is silent. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100
God please give me patience, if you give me strength I will just punch them in the face.
God please give me patience, if you give me strength I will just punch them in the face. Anonymous
Life Quotes Top 100
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' - Anonymous
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' Anonymous
Funny Tree Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
Every time we try to eat healthy along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday and ruins it for us. - Anonymous
Every time we try to eat healthy along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday and ruins it for us. Anonymous
Eat Quotes
The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat. Anonymous
Eat Quotes

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