Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. Anonymous
Analogies Friend Quotes Top 100
What type of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly squats. - Anonymous
What type of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly squats. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes Life Quotes
In the morning you beg to sleep more, in the afternoon you are dying to sleep, and at night you refuse to sleep. - Anonymous
In the morning you beg to sleep more, in the afternoon you are dying to sleep, and at night you refuse to sleep. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sleep Quotes Top 100
Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It's like Facebook in real life. - Anonymous
Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It's like Facebook in real life. Anonymous
Facebook Life Quotes People Quotes
Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible? - Anonymous
Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo. - Anonymous
Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo. Anonymous
Facebook Love Quotes People Quotes
Always run away from temptations... but slowly, so they can catch up to you. - Anonymous
Always run away from temptations... but slowly, so they can catch up to you. Anonymous
Short Quotes Wise Quotes
If you don't cut the cake in pieces and just eat the whole cake, then you only had one piece. - Anonymous
If you don't cut the cake in pieces and just eat the whole cake, then you only had one piece. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Wise Quotes
No matter how bad it gets I'm always rich when I go to the dollar store. - Anonymous
No matter how bad it gets I'm always rich when I go to the dollar store. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes
I'm old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway.
I'm old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway. Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
When nothing is going right, go left. - Anonymous
When nothing is going right, go left. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever. - Anonymous
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever. Anonymous
Phone Sayings
I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. - Anonymous
I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Love Quotes Short Quotes
You never know what you have, until you clean your closet. - Anonymous
You never know what you have, until you clean your closet. Anonymous
Know Quotes Lazy Quotes Never Quotes
I stretch my arms, I bend my knees, I straighten my neck, and they are all crunching. Conclusion: I'm not getting older, I'm getting more crunchy.
I stretch my arms, I bend my knees, I straighten my neck, and they are all crunching. Conclusion: I'm not getting older, I'm getting more crunchy. Anonymous
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