Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

One day my wife's credit card got stolen.
One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less than my wife! Anonymous
Marriage Quotes Money Quotes Wife Quotes
"Well at least I don't have to wake up any more." Is what I want my tombstone to say. - Anonymous
"Well at least I don't have to wake up any more." Is what I want my tombstone to say. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes
Just because I'm awake doesn't mean I'm ready to do things. - Anonymous
Just because I'm awake doesn't mean I'm ready to do things. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
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I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks. - Anonymous
I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where is the pop corn? - Anonymous
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where is the pop corn? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu. One requires tweetment and the other requires oinkment. Anonymous
Questions
All my bills say "Outstanding." I guess I am good to go. - Anonymous
All my bills say "Outstanding." I guess I am good to go. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes
Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money. - Anonymous
Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes
Q: How did you vote this year?
A: With a mask and gloves.
Q: And what are you hoping for?
A: That I don't get infected.
Q: No I mean what do you hope will change after your vote?
A: My mask and gloves.
Q: So what do you think the results will be?
A: Some will be positive, some negative. Anonymous
Questions
I'm so glad I learned about parallelograms instead of how to do taxes. It's ready handy this parallelogram season. - Anonymous
I'm so glad I learned about parallelograms instead of how to do taxes. It's ready handy this parallelogram season. Anonymous
Math Quotes
I'm not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing. - Anonymous
I'm not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
Do you ever feel like your body's "check engine" light is on but you're like "nah, I'll be fine"? Anonymous
That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: "Act normal, you are innocent." Anonymous
I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief. - Anonymous
I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Short Quotes

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