Anonymous Funny Quotes
A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.
When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don't answer because I'm eating.
Anonymous
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
Anonymous
Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think "Wow, my house looks awesome!"
Anonymous
That annoying moment when you're texting someone and auto-correct decides to join the conversation.
Anonymous
I made my Facebook name "Benefits," so when you add me now it says "you're friends with benefits."
Anonymous
If someone says "Who are you gonna call?" and your instinct is to say "Ghostbusters" then I probably don't want to know you.
Anonymous
Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.
Anonymous
In the morning I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the evening I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the night I can't sleep.. I'm so hungry!
Anonymous