Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I would've never imaged going into a bank wearing a mask and asking the teller for money. Anonymous
Money Quotes
The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does!
The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does! Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Phone
Just because I can't sing doesn't mean that I won't sing. - Anonymous
Just because I can't sing doesn't mean that I won't sing. Anonymous
Short Quotes Statements Stupid Quotes
Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place... the fridge. - Anonymous
Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place... the fridge. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It's like Facebook in real life. - Anonymous
Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It's like Facebook in real life. Anonymous
Facebook Life Quotes People Quotes
Sometimes I get road rage just pushing a shopping cart in a supermarket. - Anonymous
Sometimes I get road rage just pushing a shopping cart in a supermarket. Anonymous
Moments Short Quotes
I only want one thing from fake people: distance. - Anonymous
I only want one thing from fake people: distance. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
What do you mean, my birth certificate expired? - Anonymous
What do you mean, my birth certificate expired? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time. - Anonymous
Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time. Anonymous
Money Quotes Statements Time Quotes
The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep!
The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep! Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
I'm a ninja! No you're not. Did you see that? See what? Exactly! - Anonymous
I'm a ninja! No you're not. Did you see that? See what? Exactly! Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
I hate it when people text "Call me." I'm going to start calling people and as soon as they answer I'll say "text me," then hang up. - Anonymous
I hate it when people text "Call me." I'm going to start calling people and as soon as they answer I'll say "text me," then hang up. Anonymous
People Quotes Statements
I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I'm gonna need everybody to stop living here. - Anonymous
I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I'm gonna need everybody to stop living here. Anonymous
Life Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
A true friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg, even though they know you're slightly cracked. - Anonymous
A true friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg, even though they know you're slightly cracked. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Good Quotes Top 100
In grammar class the teacher asks her student 'When you sing you say 'I sing' what do you say when your brother is singing? I say 'shut up you're a terrible singer'.
In grammar class the teacher asks her student: When you sing you say 'I sing' what do you say when your brother is singing? I say 'shut up you're a terrible singer'. Anonymous
Top 100

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