Anonymous Funny Quotes
A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.
The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following.
Anonymous
If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?
Anonymous
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Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.
Anonymous
Interviewer: What do you make at your current job? Me: Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments.
Anonymous
Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote!
Anonymous
How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target.
Anonymous
The traffic is so slow today that I read two books, ate lunch, dinner, replied to all my emails, and I still haven't got to work yet.
Anonymous
I don't know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.
Anonymous
What great energy, intelligence, and magnificent beautiful eyes... But enough about me, how are you doing?
Anonymous