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What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
Woody Allen
Drinking after work is fine, but if you really want to enjoy working then drink before work.
Anonymous
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
Anonymous
When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!!
Anonymous
The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with ONLY a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
Erma Bombeck
If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'
Dave Barry