Latest Funny Quotes

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Latest quotes in the order they were added.

A girl called me once and said 'come over, nobody is home!' I went there and she was right, nobody was home!
A girl called me once and said "come over, nobody is home!" I went there and she was right, nobody was home! Anonymous
Moments
I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry.
I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Moments Short Quotes
I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
What is the one machine at your local gym you should use to impress the ladies? The bank machine.
What is the one machine at your local gym you should use to impress the ladies? The bank machine. Anonymous
Moments Money Quotes
If I don't log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must've kidnapped me! - Anonymous
If I don't log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must've kidnapped me! Anonymous
Facebook Life Quotes
Bathroom sign above toilet: It's like basketball, the basket is bigger than the ball! Learn to score properly! Anonymous
Stupid Quotes
A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.
A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking Life Quotes
The richer you get, the more expensive happiness becomes.
The richer you get, the more expensive happiness becomes. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Happy Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
Near year 2013, resolutions you can keep.
New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school.
Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.
 Anonymous
Eat Quotes Exercise Quotes Stupid Quotes
When I stare at the sky, I see you. When I stare out into the ocean, I see you. When I'm looking at the moon, I see you. Geez! Would you move aside, you're constantly getting in my way! - Anonymous
When I stare at the sky, I see you. When I stare out into the ocean, I see you. When I'm looking at the moon, I see you. Geez! Would you move aside, you're constantly getting in my way! Anonymous
Moments
Today I saw something through a store window that was truly stunning, beautiful and sexy. I wanted to get it for you, but then I realized it's my own reflection!
Today I saw something through a store window that was truly stunning, beautiful and sexy. I wanted to get it for you, but then I realized it's my own reflection! Anonymous
Marriage Quotes
The alphabet begins with ABC, numbers begin with 123, music begins with do-re-mi, and friendship begins with you and me.
The alphabet begins with ABC, numbers begin with 123, music begins with do-re-mi, and friendship begins with you and me. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Top 100
I started thinking about the dangers of drinking on new year's eve. After that, I decided to stop thinking. - Anonymous
I started thinking about the dangers of drinking on new year's eve. After that, I decided to stop thinking. Anonymous
Drinking Stupid Quotes Think Quotes
Some of the greatest ideas of all time have come to people during Math class... none of which had anything to do with Math.
Some of the greatest ideas of all time have come to people during Math class... none of which had anything to do with Math. Anonymous
Math Quotes Moments People Quotes
To the guy who created imaginary numbers in Math: I hate you.
To the guy who created imaginary numbers in Math: I hate you. Anonymous
Math Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

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