Top 100 Funny Quotes

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The road to success is always under construction.
The road to success is always under construction. Lily Tomlin
Sayings Short Quotes
Life doesn't have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.
Life doesn't have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
Friendship is like peeing on yourself.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. Anonymous
Analogies Friend Quotes
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Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around.
Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around. Anonymous
Animals Cat Quotes Computers
I fear one day I'll meet God, he'll sneeze and I won't know what to say. - Ronnie Shakes
I fear one day I'll meet God, he'll sneeze and I won't know what to say.

Ronnie Shakes

Know Quotes Short Quotes Witty Quotes
Everyone wants your best! Don't let them take it away from you.
Everyone wants your best! Don't let them take it away from you. Anonymous
People Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

A. Whitney Brown

Animals
I started thinking about the dangers of drinking on new year's eve. After that, I decided to stop thinking. - Anonymous
I started thinking about the dangers of drinking on new year's eve. After that, I decided to stop thinking. Anonymous
Drinking Stupid Quotes Think Quotes
How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How does the confused dog bark? Wutf? Wutf?
 Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Questions
A joke is a very serious thing. Winston Churchill
Sayings Short Quotes
People say I act like I don't care. It's not an act. - Anonymous
People say I act like I don't care. It's not an act. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes Wise Quotes
I know some people don't like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste. - Anonymous
I know some people don't like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste. Anonymous
People Quotes
Me watching Olympics: Woah! That was outstanding! Announcer: Another devastating mistake. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes TV Quotes
In a room full of art, I'd still stare at you. - Anonymous
In a room full of art, I'd still stare at you. Anonymous
Life Quotes Love Quotes Short Quotes
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