Top 100 Funny Quotes

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I'm not crazy, my unicorn just needs a tuneup.
I'm not crazy, my unicorn just needs a tuneup. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs...
The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist. Anonymous
Drinking Man Quotes Sayings
The hardest thing to find in life is happiness.
The hardest thing to find in life is happiness - money is only hard to find because it gets wasted trying to find happiness. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Happy Quotes Life Quotes Money Quotes
How do I like my eggs? In a cake. - Anonymous
How do I like my eggs? In a cake. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Questions Short Quotes
Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before.
Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before. Anonymous
Life Quotes Statements
My decision making skills are as good as a squirrel that's crossing the street. - Anonymous
My decision making skills are as good as a squirrel that's crossing the street. Anonymous
Analogies Short Quotes
If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all. - David Letterman
If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.

David Letterman

Sayings Stupid Quotes Wise Quotes
He who laughs last didn't get it. - Helen Giangregorio
He who laughs last didn't get it.

Helen Giangregorio

Sayings Short Quotes
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. Mark Twain
Drinking Eat Quotes Famous Quotes
You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing. - Henry Louis Mencken
You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing.

Henry Louis Mencken

Life Quotes Sayings World Quotes
The best advise I have for all my teachers during a test is to pass the test out as fast as possible before I forget everything. Anonymous
Wise Quotes
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Robert Bloch

Man Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten. - Anonymous
I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten. Anonymous
Life Quotes Time Quotes
A bald spot is like a lie, the bigger it gets the harder it is to cover it up. - Anonymous
A bald spot is like a lie, the bigger it gets the harder it is to cover it up. Anonymous
Analogies Short Quotes
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