Top 100 Funny Quotes

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Me watching Olympics: Woah! That was outstanding! Announcer: Another devastating mistake. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes TV Quotes
Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. - Anonymous
Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
I don't always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don't know exactly what they do. - Anonymous
I don't always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don't know exactly what they do. Anonymous
Math Quotes
Love many, trust few, always paddle your own canoe. - Anonymous
Love many, trust few, always paddle your own canoe. Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes
You don't have to be crazy to hang out with me... I'll train you. - Anonymous
You don't have to be crazy to hang out with me... I'll train you. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes
My kitchen cleaner says "for a clean kitchen" so I can't use it, mine is dirty. - Anonymous
My kitchen cleaner says "for a clean kitchen" so I can't use it, mine is dirty. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Witty Quotes
I wasn't mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I'm mad.. yes, I'm mad! - Anonymous
I wasn't mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I'm mad.. yes, I'm mad! Anonymous
Questions Sayings Short Quotes
Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition? - Anonymous
Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

Oscar Wilde

Life Quotes Short Quotes Wise Quotes
When a door closes another door should open, but if it doesn't then go in through the window.
When a door closes another door should open, but if it doesn't then go in through the window. Anonymous
Sayings
Never play poker with the world's fastest animal, because he's a cheetah. - Anonymous
Never play poker with the world's fastest animal, because he's a cheetah. Anonymous
Animals Never Quotes Short Quotes
I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing. - Anonymous
I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes Statements
Got a new phone today, my old one failed the swimming test. - Anonymous
Got a new phone today, my old one failed the swimming test. Anonymous
Phone Sayings Short Quotes
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