Top 100 Funny Quotes
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I hate when people ask me what I'm doing tomorrow, I don't even know what I'm doing today.
Anonymous
When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45. When you're at work and it's 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31.
Anonymous
That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you're shopping for something else because they just won't budge.
Anonymous
I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.
Anonymous
If you let out a loud fart and someone hears you, just yell "Jet Power" and start running.
Anonymous
My best friends are like fairy tales, they've been there since once upon a time and will be there until forever after.
Anonymous
Sleeping is hard in the summer because the blankets are too warm, but without them I am vulnerable to monsters.
Anonymous
Displayed 226-240 of 400 quotes.