Top 100 Funny Quotes

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You don't know something? Google it. You don't know someone? Facebook it. You don't know where something is? MOM! - Anonymous
You don't know something? Google it. You don't know someone? Facebook it. You don't know where something is? MOM! Anonymous
Facebook
I put the "Pro" in procrastinate. - Anonymous
I put the "Pro" in procrastinate. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now that's confusing. - Anonymous
Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now that's confusing. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
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If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.
If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Sayings
My imaginary friend thinks he has problems. - Anonymous
My imaginary friend thinks he has problems. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes
I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. - Anonymous
I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. Anonymous
Good Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Don't worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. - Anonymous
Don't worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
Dear automatic flushing toilet... I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn't done yet. - Anonymous
Dear automatic flushing toilet... I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn't done yet. Anonymous
Sayings
I'm not crazy, my unicorn just needs a tuneup.
I'm not crazy, my unicorn just needs a tuneup. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Got a new phone today, my old one failed the swimming test. - Anonymous
Got a new phone today, my old one failed the swimming test. Anonymous
Phone Sayings Short Quotes
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' - Anonymous
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' Anonymous
Funny Tree Quotes Stupid Quotes Witty Quotes
Don't drink to forget me, you'll end up seeing me double. - Anonymous
Don't drink to forget me, you'll end up seeing me double. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking Short Quotes
So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn't for throwing at people who stress you out? - Anonymous
So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn't for throwing at people who stress you out? Anonymous
Questions
I always say "morning" instead of "good morning", because if it was a good morning, I'd still be asleep. - Anonymous
I always say "morning" instead of "good morning", because if it was a good morning, I'd still be asleep. Anonymous
Good Quotes Lazy Quotes Life Quotes
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