Top 100 Funny Quotes

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Smile today, tomorrow could be worse.

Smile today, tomorrow could be worse. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden. - Eric Morecambe

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

Eric Morecambe

Stupid Quotes Witty Quotes

If a philosopher answers your question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place.

If a philosopher answers your question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place. Anonymous

Questions Sayings

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How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost? - Anonymous

How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost? Anonymous

Man Quotes Questions Short Quotes

I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year.

I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes

I love my computer because all my friends live inside it! - Anonymous

I love my computer because all my friends live inside it! Anonymous

Computers Friend Quotes Short Quotes

My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museum.

My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museum. Anonymous

Sayings

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. - Anonymous

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale's mating call. - Anonymous

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale's mating call. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

Want to hear a construction joke? Sorry, I'm still working on it. - Anonymous

Want to hear a construction joke? Sorry, I'm still working on it. Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes

Most of us don't realize it, but we're all part of something much bigger than ourselves, and we're all connected in some way, not just through Facebook. - Anonymous

Most of us don't realize it, but we're all part of something much bigger than ourselves, and we're all connected in some way, not just through Facebook. Anonymous

Facebook Life Quotes Sayings

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. - Paul Fix

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

Paul Fix

People Quotes Statements Think Quotes

A true friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg, even though they know you're slightly cracked. - Anonymous

A true friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg, even though they know you're slightly cracked. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Good Quotes

4 out 3 people struggle with math. - Anonymous

4 out 3 people struggle with math. Anonymous

Math Quotes Short Quotes

A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first. - Anonymous

A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first. Anonymous

People Quotes Stupid Quotes Time Quotes

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