Top 100 Funny Quotes

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There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired. Today I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of continuing. - Anonymous
There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired. Today I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of continuing. Anonymous
People Quotes Think Quotes Time Quotes
I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year. - Anonymous
I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Sayings Wise Quotes
Life's biggest struggle: I need to pee, but I don't want to get out of bed. - Anonymous
Life's biggest struggle: I need to pee, but I don't want to get out of bed. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it. - Anonymous
Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes Statements
I would like to apologize to anyone whom I haven't offended yet. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly. - Anonymous
I would like to apologize to anyone whom I haven't offended yet. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes
Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.
Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up. Anonymous
Sayings Sleep Quotes
If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me. - Anonymous
If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes
What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out. - Anonymous
What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out. Anonymous
Life Quotes Questions Short Quotes
If you're hotter than me, then that means I'm cooler than you.
If you're hotter than me, then that means I'm cooler than you. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
I've made it from the bed to the couch. There's no stopping me now. - Anonymous
I've made it from the bed to the couch. There's no stopping me now. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn't for throwing at people who stress you out? - Anonymous
So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn't for throwing at people who stress you out? Anonymous
Questions
I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. - Anonymous
I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Love Quotes Short Quotes
Friends are like walls, sometimes you lean on them and sometimes it's good just knowing they're there. - Anonymous
Friends are like walls, sometimes you lean on them and sometimes it's good just knowing they're there. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Good Quotes Know Quotes
That awkward moment you can't understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times. - Anonymous
That awkward moment you can't understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times. Anonymous
Moments Time Quotes
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