Top 100 Funny Quotes
There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza.
Anonymous
I'm a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.
Anonymous
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Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there.
Anonymous
I made my Facebook name "Benefits," so when you add me now it says "you're friends with benefits."
Anonymous
A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.
Winston Churchill
In the morning you beg to sleep more, in the afternoon you are dying to sleep, and at night you refuse to sleep.
Anonymous
I want to change my name on Facebook to "Nobody," so when I see someone posting something stupid I can Like their post and it will say "Nobody likes this."
Anonymous
There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.
Anonymous
Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy.
Anonymous
Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
Anonymous
Displayed 166-180 of 400 quotes.














