Top 100 Funny Quotes

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Living on earth may be tough, but it includes a free ride around the sun every year.

Living on earth may be tough, but it includes a free ride around the sun every year. Anonymous

Life Quotes

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it. - Anonymous

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest. - Anonymous

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. - Paul Fix

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

Paul Fix

People Quotes Statements Think Quotes

Dear automatic flushing toilet... I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn't done yet. - Anonymous

Dear automatic flushing toilet... I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn't done yet. Anonymous

Sayings

I hope we're good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people. - Anonymous

I hope we're good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Good Quotes People Quotes

You don't know something? Google it. You don't know someone? Facebook it. You don't know where something is? MOM! - Anonymous

You don't know something? Google it. You don't know someone? Facebook it. You don't know where something is? MOM! Anonymous

Facebook

Just because I'm awake doesn't mean I'm ready to do things. - Anonymous

Just because I'm awake doesn't mean I'm ready to do things. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes

You never realize what you have until it's gone. Toilet paper is a good example. - Anonymous

You never realize what you have until it's gone. Toilet paper is a good example. Anonymous

Sayings

What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water.

What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water. Anonymous

Questions Stupid Quotes

I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. - Anonymous

I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. Anonymous

Statements

Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back. - Anonymous

Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Statements

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn't for throwing at people who stress you out? - Anonymous

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn't for throwing at people who stress you out? Anonymous

Questions

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary. - Anonymous

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary. Anonymous

Facebook Short Quotes Wise Quotes

I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year.

I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes

Displayed 31-45 of 400 quotes.

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