Top 100 Funny Quotes

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When nothing is going right, go left. - Anonymous

When nothing is going right, go left. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

You know what part I like about waking up early? None.. let me go back to sleep. - Anonymous

You know what part I like about waking up early? None.. let me go back to sleep. Anonymous

Know Quotes Life Quotes Sleep Quotes

Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it. - Anonymous

Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it. Anonymous

Never Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

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It's not important to win, it's important to make the other guy lose.

It's not important to win, it's important to make the other guy lose. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning. - Anonymous

Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Stupid Quotes

Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge. - Anonymous

Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge. Anonymous

Life Quotes Questions

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them. - Anonymous

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them. Anonymous

People Quotes Sayings

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. - Anonymous

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. Anonymous

Good Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back, but when you hang out with them they check their phone every minute. - Anonymous

Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back, but when you hang out with them they check their phone every minute. Anonymous

Never Quotes People Quotes Phone

I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning.

I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning. Anonymous

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself. - Groucho Marx

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself. Groucho Marx

Life Quotes

Think you're smart? Come over and help me with my homework.

Think you're smart? Come over and help me with my homework. Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes

I've made it from the bed to the couch. There's no stopping me now. - Anonymous

I've made it from the bed to the couch. There's no stopping me now. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

I was told to check my attitude. I did, and it's still there.. it hasn't gone anywhere. What's the problem? - Anonymous

I was told to check my attitude. I did, and it's still there.. it hasn't gone anywhere. What's the problem? Anonymous

Witty Quotes

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary. - Anonymous

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary. Anonymous

Facebook Short Quotes Wise Quotes

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