Top 100 Funny Quotes

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Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time ago? - Anonymous

Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time ago? Anonymous

Questions

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

Oscar Wilde

Life Quotes Short Quotes Wise Quotes

I put the "Pro" in procrastinate. - Anonymous

I put the "Pro" in procrastinate. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

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I hope we're good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people. - Anonymous

I hope we're good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Good Quotes People Quotes

My imaginary friend thinks he has problems. - Anonymous

My imaginary friend thinks he has problems. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Short Quotes

I'm not crazy, my unicorn just needs a tuneup.

I'm not crazy, my unicorn just needs a tuneup. Anonymous

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.

If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog. Anonymous

Animals Dog Quotes Sayings

The most important four words for a successful marriage: 'I'll do the dishes.'

The most important four words for a successful marriage: 'I'll do the dishes.' Anonymous

Marriage Quotes Short Quotes

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling? - Anonymous

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling? Anonymous

Questions

If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? - Anonymous

If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes Wise Quotes

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? Steven Alexander Wright

Beer Quotes Drinking Questions

Whenever I'm sad, you're there. Whenever I have problems, you're there. Whenever I lose control, you're there. Let's face it, you are bad luck. - Anonymous

Whenever I'm sad, you're there. Whenever I have problems, you're there. Whenever I lose control, you're there. Let's face it, you are bad luck. Anonymous

Witty Quotes

Friends are like walls, sometimes you lean on them and sometimes it's good just knowing they're there. - Anonymous

Friends are like walls, sometimes you lean on them and sometimes it's good just knowing they're there. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Good Quotes Know Quotes

I'm not frowning, I'm just smiling upside down.

I'm not frowning, I'm just smiling upside down. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. - Anonymous

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. Anonymous

Good Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

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