Top 100 Funny Quotes

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I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status.
I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. Anonymous
Animals Cat Quotes Computers
People say I act like I don't care. It's not an act. - Anonymous
People say I act like I don't care. It's not an act. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes Wise Quotes
I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. - Anonymous
I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Love Quotes Short Quotes
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It's almost bed time, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick. - Anonymous
It's almost bed time, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick. Anonymous
Facebook TV Quotes Time Quotes
So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff. - Anonymous
So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human.
To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human. Anonymous
Sayings
What I do when I see someone pretty is, I stare, I smile then when I get tired I put the mirror down.
What I do when I see someone pretty is, I stare, I smile then when I get tired I put the mirror down. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes
Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life!
Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life! Anonymous
Friend Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow.
Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people... together. - Anonymous
True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people... together. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes
Cheer myself up.
I always try to cheer myself up by singing when I get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems. Anonymous
Moments Time Quotes
Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote! - Anonymous
Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote! Anonymous
Animals TV Quotes Witty Quotes
Friends are like rainbows, always there to cheer you up after a storm. - Anonymous
Friends are like rainbows, always there to cheer you up after a storm. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes
I always knew I'd get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though. - Anonymous
I always knew I'd get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though. Anonymous
Short Quotes Witty Quotes
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