Top 100 Funny Quotes
I always say "morning" instead of "good morning", because if it was a good morning, I'd still be asleep.
Anonymous
Research has shown that laughing for two minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minute jog. So now I'm sitting in the park laughing at all the joggers.
Anonymous
I would like to apologize to anyone whom I haven't offended yet. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly.
Anonymous
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
Albert Einstein
It's really complicated to make something simple, but very simple to make something something complicated.
Anonymous
I hope we're good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.
Anonymous
What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water.
Anonymous
Displayed 136-150 of 400 quotes.