Top 100 Funny Quotes

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What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out. - Anonymous
What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out. Anonymous
Life Quotes Questions Short Quotes
I always knew I'd get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though. - Anonymous
I always knew I'd get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though. Anonymous
Short Quotes Witty Quotes
Smile today, tomorrow could be worse.
Smile today, tomorrow could be worse. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour. - Anonymous
My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour. Anonymous
Analogies Short Quotes Work Quotes
I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning.
I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Albert Einstein
Famous Quotes Sayings
But when you fart just one time...
Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears.
Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain.
Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile.
But when you fart just one time... Anonymous
Happy Quotes Sayings Time Quotes
True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people... together. - Anonymous
True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people... together. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes
I don't understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can't remember why I walked into the kitchen. - Anonymous
I don't understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can't remember why I walked into the kitchen. Anonymous
Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy. - Anonymous
Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy. Anonymous
Happy Quotes Life Quotes Stupid Quotes
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling? - Anonymous
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling? Anonymous
Questions
Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life!
Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life! Anonymous
Friend Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done.
Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done. Anonymous
Know Quotes Never Quotes Sayings
Never let your best friends get lonely... keep disturbing them. - Anonymous
Never let your best friends get lonely... keep disturbing them. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes
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