Top 100 Funny Quotes
It takes real skills to choke on air, fall up the stairs and trip over nothing. I have those skills.
Anonymous
I always say "morning" instead of "good morning", because if it was a good morning, I'd still be asleep.
Anonymous
That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you're shopping for something else because they just won't budge.
Anonymous
Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.
Anonymous
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.
Anonymous
There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.
Anonymous
Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
Anonymous
I don't understand people who say "I don't know how to thank you." Like they never heard of money.
Anonymous
Displayed 151-165 of 400 quotes.