Top 100 Funny Quotes

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All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza. - Anonymous
All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Know Quotes Sayings
An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough. - Anonymous
An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. - Anonymous
I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. Anonymous
Statements
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A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have. - Anonymous
A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes
Life doesn't have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.
Life doesn't have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works. - Anonymous
Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy. - Anonymous
Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy. Anonymous
Happy Quotes Life Quotes Stupid Quotes
Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday? - Anonymous
Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Work Quotes
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera. - Anonymous
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera. Anonymous
Sayings
I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time. - Anonymous
I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Time Quotes
Sometimes I'm grateful that thoughts don't appear as bubbles over our heads. - Anonymous
Sometimes I'm grateful that thoughts don't appear as bubbles over our heads. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat. - Anonymous
I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes Love Quotes
If you can't laugh at your own problems, call me and I'll laugh at them. - Anonymous
If you can't laugh at your own problems, call me and I'll laugh at them. Anonymous
Life Quotes People Quotes Phone
A relationship without trust is like a cell phone with no service, all you can do is play games. - Anonymous
A relationship without trust is like a cell phone with no service, all you can do is play games. Anonymous
Analogies Love Quotes Phone
Displayed 151-165 of 400 quotes.

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