Top 100 Funny Quotes

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Retirement is when you stop living at work, and start working at living. - Anonymous
Retirement is when you stop living at work, and start working at living. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. - Anonymous
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!
I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome! Anonymous
Know Quotes Sayings
Don't worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. - Anonymous
Don't worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
Some people aren't just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone. - Anonymous
Some people aren't just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
Everyone wants your best! Don't let them take it away from you.
Everyone wants your best! Don't let them take it away from you. Anonymous
People Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
That moment when there's a spider on you, and you suddenly turn into a black belt karate master. - Anonymous
That moment when there's a spider on you, and you suddenly turn into a black belt karate master. Anonymous
Moments
"Revenge" sounds so mean, that's why I prefer to call it "Returning the favor." - Anonymous
"Revenge" sounds so mean, that's why I prefer to call it "Returning the favor." Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor. - Anonymous
Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor. Anonymous
Analogies Money Quotes Short Quotes
What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water.
What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water. Anonymous
Questions Stupid Quotes
I always say "morning" instead of "good morning", because if it was a good morning, I'd still be asleep. - Anonymous
I always say "morning" instead of "good morning", because if it was a good morning, I'd still be asleep. Anonymous
Good Quotes Lazy Quotes Life Quotes
I would like to apologize to anyone whom I haven't offended yet. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly. - Anonymous
I would like to apologize to anyone whom I haven't offended yet. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes
I'm the kind of crazy you weren't warned about because no one knew this level existed. - Anonymous
I'm the kind of crazy you weren't warned about because no one knew this level existed. Anonymous
Life Quotes Stupid Quotes
Your secrets are safe with me... I wasn't even listening. - Anonymous
Your secrets are safe with me... I wasn't even listening. Anonymous
Short Quotes Witty Quotes
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