Top 100 Funny Quotes
Research has shown that laughing for two minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minute jog. So now I'm sitting in the park laughing at all the joggers.
Anonymous
It's really complicated to make something simple, but very simple to make something something complicated.
Anonymous
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Beginner pilot rules:
1. The propeller is just a big fan made to cool down the pilot in the cockpit. When it stops, you can see the pilot start sweating excessively.
2. You don't have to take off, but landing is mandatory.
3. Pushing forward on the flight stick makes the earth look bigger, pulling makes it look smaller.
If you pull too much or too long however, it will look bigger yet again.
4. Flying is safe as long as you don't crash.
5. It's better to wish you were flying than to wish you were on the ground.
6. A good landing is a landing in which everyone walks away.
7. Besides affecting apples, gravity also affects planes.
Anonymous
1. The propeller is just a big fan made to cool down the pilot in the cockpit. When it stops, you can see the pilot start sweating excessively.
2. You don't have to take off, but landing is mandatory.
3. Pushing forward on the flight stick makes the earth look bigger, pulling makes it look smaller.
If you pull too much or too long however, it will look bigger yet again.
4. Flying is safe as long as you don't crash.
5. It's better to wish you were flying than to wish you were on the ground.
6. A good landing is a landing in which everyone walks away.
7. Besides affecting apples, gravity also affects planes.
Anonymous
I don't understand people who say "I don't know how to thank you." Like they never heard of money.
Anonymous
I'm so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-top on top of it.
Anonymous
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!
Anonymous
Why must I prove that I am me when I pay bills over the phone? Did some else call to pay my bills, and if they did, why don't you let them?
Anonymous
I made my Facebook name "Benefits," so when you add me now it says "you're friends with benefits."
Anonymous
Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free and three sizes smaller?
Anonymous
I always say "morning" instead of "good morning", because if it was a good morning, I'd still be asleep.
Anonymous
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