Top 100 Funny Quotes
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?'
Anonymous
Research has shown that laughing for two minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minute jog. So now I'm sitting in the park laughing at all the joggers.
Anonymous
The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does!
Anonymous
I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect.' That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, 'Your password is incorrect.'
Anonymous
Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time ago?
Anonymous
I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box... I don't even know where the box is.
Anonymous
You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.
Anonymous
I want to change my name on Facebook to "Nobody," so when I see someone posting something stupid I can Like their post and it will say "Nobody likes this."
Anonymous
Displayed 16-30 of 400 quotes.