Top 100 Funny Quotes

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Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself. - Groucho Marx

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself. Groucho Marx

Life Quotes

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh. - Anonymous

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Phone Short Quotes

If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being skinny for life would you choose hard or soft tacos? - Anonymous

If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being skinny for life would you choose hard or soft tacos? Anonymous

Questions Stupid Quotes

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I'll call it a smartphone when I yell "Where's my phone?" and it yells back "Down here in the couch cushions!" - Anonymous

I'll call it a smartphone when I yell "Where's my phone?" and it yells back "Down here in the couch cushions!" Anonymous

Phone

I'm so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-top on top of it. - Anonymous

I'm so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-top on top of it. Anonymous

Sayings

Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the M is silent. - Anonymous

Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the M is silent. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say "I know it's hard, but you'll be okay. Here's a coffee and a million dollars." - Anonymous

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say "I know it's hard, but you'll be okay. Here's a coffee and a million dollars." Anonymous

Know Quotes Life Quotes Money Quotes

My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station. - Anonymous

My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station. Anonymous

Marriage Quotes Wife Quotes

"Revenge" sounds so mean, that's why I prefer to call it "Returning the favor." - Anonymous

"Revenge" sounds so mean, that's why I prefer to call it "Returning the favor." Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me...

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way. Anonymous

Sayings

Pool rules: You're not allowed to do anything that begins with the words 'Hey everyone watch this!' - Anonymous

Pool rules: You're not allowed to do anything that begins with the words 'Hey everyone watch this!' Anonymous

Witty Quotes

Sometimes I'm grateful that thoughts don't appear as bubbles over our heads. - Anonymous

Sometimes I'm grateful that thoughts don't appear as bubbles over our heads. Anonymous

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. - Anonymous

If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Wise Quotes

Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge. - Anonymous

Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge. Anonymous

Life Quotes Questions

I had an extremely busy day, converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. - Anonymous

I had an extremely busy day, converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. Anonymous

Life Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

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