Top 100 Funny Quotes

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I put the "Pro" in procrastinate. - Anonymous
I put the "Pro" in procrastinate. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Don't know where your kids are in the house? Turn off the internet and they'll show up quickly.
Don't know where your kids are in the house? Turn off the internet and they'll show up quickly. Anonymous
Internet
A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have. - Anonymous
A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes
Sponsored Links
I love ordering things online because when they arrive it's like a present from me to me. - Anonymous
I love ordering things online because when they arrive it's like a present from me to me. Anonymous
Love Quotes Sayings
I don't understand people who say "I don't know how to thank you." Like they never heard of money. - Anonymous
I don't understand people who say "I don't know how to thank you." Like they never heard of money. Anonymous
Money Quotes
To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human.
To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human. Anonymous
Sayings
I don't like violence but I don't mind if I get hit by luck. - Anonymous
I don't like violence but I don't mind if I get hit by luck. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
I made my Facebook name "Benefits," so when you add me now it says "you're friends with benefits." - Anonymous
I made my Facebook name "Benefits," so when you add me now it says "you're friends with benefits." Anonymous
Facebook Friend Quotes
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' - Anonymous
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' Anonymous
Funny Tree Quotes Stupid Quotes Witty Quotes
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest. - Anonymous
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
I always give 100% at work! 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday. Welcome back weekend. - Anonymous
I always give 100% at work! 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday. Welcome back weekend. Anonymous
Work Quotes
You know the potholes on a road are bad when they assign lifeguards to them, in case anybody falls inside. - Anonymous
You know the potholes on a road are bad when they assign lifeguards to them, in case anybody falls inside. Anonymous
Know Quotes Stupid Quotes
True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people... together. - Anonymous
True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people... together. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes
The alphabet begins with ABC, numbers begin with 123, music begins with do-re-mi, and friendship begins with you and me.
The alphabet begins with ABC, numbers begin with 123, music begins with do-re-mi, and friendship begins with you and me. Anonymous
Friend Quotes
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