Top 100 Funny Quotes

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Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I'm doing while I'm doing it. - Anonymous
Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I'm doing while I'm doing it. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works. - Anonymous
Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before.
Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before. Anonymous
Life Quotes Statements
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' - Anonymous
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' Anonymous
Funny Tree Quotes Stupid Quotes Witty Quotes
Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love. - Albert Einstein
Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love. Albert Einstein
Famous Quotes Love Quotes People Quotes
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? Steven Alexander Wright
Beer Quotes Drinking Questions
Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time. - Anonymous
Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time. Anonymous
Money Quotes Statements Time Quotes
It's really complicated to make something simple.
It's really complicated to make something simple, but very simple to make something something complicated. Anonymous
Sayings Statements
Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people. - Anonymous
Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people. Anonymous
Internet People Quotes
Living on earth may be tough, but it includes a free ride around the sun every year.
Living on earth may be tough, but it includes a free ride around the sun every year. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary. - Anonymous
Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary. Anonymous
Facebook Short Quotes Wise Quotes
I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.
I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Eat Quotes
Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. - Anonymous
Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it. - Anonymous
Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
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