Top 100 Funny Quotes
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
Albert Einstein
I don't understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can't remember why I walked into the kitchen.
Anonymous
When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed.
Anonymous
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I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box... I don't even know where the box is.
Anonymous
Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time ago?
Anonymous
It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already.
Anonymous
Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
Anonymous
I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.
Anonymous
Displayed 76-90 of 400 quotes.