Top 100 Funny Quotes
You don't know something? Google it. You don't know someone? Facebook it. You don't know where something is? MOM!
Anonymous
I'm a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.
Anonymous
The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does!
Anonymous
You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.
Anonymous
I started thinking about the dangers of drinking on new year's eve. After that, I decided to stop thinking.
Anonymous
It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already.
Anonymous
I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.
Anonymous
I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.
Anonymous
There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza.
Anonymous
Displayed 76-90 of 400 quotes.