Top 100 Funny Quotes

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A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. - Anonymous
A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes Wise Quotes
Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. - Anonymous
Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing. - Anonymous
I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes Statements
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I don't understand people who say "I don't know how to thank you." Like they never heard of money. - Anonymous
I don't understand people who say "I don't know how to thank you." Like they never heard of money. Anonymous
Money Quotes
Living on earth may be tough, but it includes a free ride around the sun every year.
Living on earth may be tough, but it includes a free ride around the sun every year. Anonymous
Life Quotes
You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!
You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared! Anonymous
Animals Love Quotes
If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.
If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Sayings
I love ordering things online because when they arrive it's like a present from me to me. - Anonymous
I love ordering things online because when they arrive it's like a present from me to me. Anonymous
Love Quotes Sayings
You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here. - Anonymous
You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. - Paul Fix
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

Paul Fix

People Quotes Statements Think Quotes
So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff. - Anonymous
So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it. - Anonymous
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes
Your secrets are safe with me... I wasn't even listening. - Anonymous
Your secrets are safe with me... I wasn't even listening. Anonymous
Short Quotes Witty Quotes
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

Oscar Wilde

Life Quotes Short Quotes Wise Quotes
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